She was one of Mother&Baby’s mum listers back in 2020, and now, 11 years since she began her YouTube career, Emily Norris is releasing her debut book full of all the mum hacks and tips she wished she’d have known before embarking on her parenting journey.
Emily's book: Things I Wish I’d Known
Mum to three boys aged 13, ten and seven, she’s been there and done that when it comes to pregnancy, babies and raising children, and now, Emily is bringing all her wisdom to your bookshelves in her book, Things I Wish I’d Known: My hacks for a tidy home, happy kids and a calmer you, which is available to buy from March 7, 2024.
“This has been a really long time coming.” Emily said when we recently interviewed her, explaining how she’d begun with the idea back in 2017. “I first made this organised planner for mums, to help them stay organised and then from that, my followers were saying ‘You should write a book’.” After putting out a poll on her YouTube channel asking what kind of book she should release, the results were overwhelmingly in favour of a book of mum hacks and the writing process began in 2019.
Fast forward to 2020 and Emily, like many of us, was thrown into the world of home schooling while trying to juggle work and a home all amid a global pandemic. “I was like, ‘I just can't do this right now.’ So it was last year (2023) when I actually decided to write it and get it done.”
We truly don’t know how Emily continues to think of all her amazing hacks, and they continue to be her most viewed videos so it’s no surprise it was her YouTube channel that provided most of the inspiration and ideas for the book as well as some new ideas for her followers to try.
Every hack featured has been tried and tested by Emily on her family so you know they’re going to actually work. As well as hacks, you’ll also find plenty of time-saving habits you can adopt to save you time every day as well as a cleaning schedule and routines you can try with your family.
One thing Emily was very keen to include in the book is what she calls her little moments for mum which you’ll find in each chapter, with self-care becoming something she is prioritising more as she’s getting older. From making time to go out for a dog walk with friends to scheduling time for a fitness class, it’s all about self-care to benefit your mental wellbeing.
“When you become a mum, things like a shower, become self-care. And you just think, ‘How? A shower is a basic need?' But I get it’s hard, when I had three children under the age of five, I just felt like, ‘How am I going to do anything for myself?’ But it's just about carving out those moments for yourself.”
On her YouTube career
If you’re already one of Emily’s YouTube subscribers, then you’ll know just how genius her hack videos are, but unlike many mumfluencers, she didn’t start vlogging her life as a mum until she already had a three-year-old and a newborn.
“I was on my second maternity leave with my second son and I was just feeling a bit lonely, a little bit isolated, but you do as a mum, you sort of go from having work and having friends and then you're at home all the time. So I was almost looking for a bit of a hobby and a bit of a purpose. I actually love watching other people on YouTube so I thought cos I was a second-time mum, some of my tips could be useful for people.” It wasn’t long until Emily began posting videos about her daily life as a mum from what she was feeding her baby to his routine and her channel grew from there.
“It took ages for me to grow, but then after a year or two I had this community of mums that would come every week and watch the videos and seem to love it, so then it just snowballed and then I had a third baby which is when it really exploded and it became my full-time thing.”
Emily's top three mum YouTubers she loves to watch? Giovanna Fletcher, Louise Pentland and Anna Mathur. "Anna gives some really good tips on reframing your mental health. She said, instead of thinking, ‘I've got to’ think ‘I get to’ instead and I use that all the time. I'm like, ‘I’ve got to make dinner’ and then I'm like, no, ‘I get to make dinner’ and it actually works" says Emily.
Finding her self-confidence after having children
Losing a little bit of ourselves after becoming mums and maintaining the self-confidence we had before motherhood is a common feeling we can all get at times. For Emily, going from being a very career-driven marketing director to a new mum was a huge change she struggled to adapt to initially.
“I don’t think anyone can prepare you for the huge life change and you get this realisation of ‘Oh, my gosh, it's never gonna be the same.’ I think I kind of had that, but I do think confidence does come with time, and the more I got into motherhood, the more I learned to trust my gut and know my baby. Even when people would give me advice, I think no, I know them and I know that just wouldn't work.”
There were a few little things Emily found gave her a boost of joy and confidence each day that she needed for her own sanity in those first few months of being a mum like going for a car ride every day with her baby or seeing people at her baby group for some much needed human interaction.
Lowering her standards when it came to the home was also essential for her happiness. “The house doesn't have to be perfect and it's just gonna be a bit chaotic, and that's fine. It's about accepting that this is not forever and now they’re older, my house is back to being nice and clean.”
“I used to worry about messy play, and then you think, ‘It gives them so much joy, it takes 10 minutes to tidy up? Why am I being precious?’ And actually, with my third, I was so much more laid back because I knew by then it's such a short time and even with people coming to visit, with my first I was so anxious but by the third, I just said ‘Get your own coffee. Get your own biscuit.’”
Dealing with online hate
While we love keeping up with our favourite mum listers and mum influencers online, we do often witness mums being criticised for their parenting choices which can make for a very hostile and scary environment to share your life as a mum. Emily is no stranger to this online hate, particularly when she posts anything about baby sleep and breastfeeding.
“With my first son, he was just a really bad sleeper, but being a first-time mum, I didn't realise that you actually need to teach them how to sleep. So I would just let him fall asleep on the boob every night and put him down, but he'd be up every two hours. When he was around 10 months old, I was at breaking point and so deliriously tired I had to do something. So I did the Ferber method and people felt really strongly about that. But then also by doing that for a few days, it was a life change for me as he started to sleep through the night.”
After being an online influencer for so long, Emily has learned how important it is to block any negativity as soon as it comes her way.
“I have a very no-nonsense approach because I just think, I don't need it in my life. Also, if you're a mum who is having a bad day it can be easy to just take it out on others. So I think with a lot of comments, you have to have a lot of empathy. Sometimes it is more about them than you. But I do feel really lucky as my community is genuinely really lovely.”
Keeping the spark alive after starting a family
Emily’s husband Matt is a regular on her channel and the couple have raised three boys together and still seem rather smitten, so we couldn’t help but ask, what’s their secret?
“No matter how strong your relationship is, parenting is gonna feel like a bit of a strain, because all of a sudden, you're both so tired, and there's so much to do, and you don’t actually know what someone’s going to be like as a parent until you have children together. Luckily, we are definitely a team, and we have the same values, which really helps.
“A big thing for us is that we can't make it a competition, who's done more, or who's more tired? You might say, ‘Well, I've done all these nappies today.’ We just need to be a team.
“I know that people say you shouldn't go to bed angry, but I actually think sometimes you should sleep on it. Because sometimes we're arguing about something and actually we're both just exhausted, and I'm like ‘Can we just park this and sleep and then talk about this again tomorrow?’ So we do that as well which I know a lot of people you know don't think we should, but I think sometimes you're so tired as a parent.”
The challenges of raising teenagers
Although Emily’s children are now growing up, the challenges of parenting haven’t come to an end, and if anything, Emily is finding this stage the most challenging time yet as her eldest has just turned 13.
“It's actually a really hard generation. When I was growing up, we didn't have mobile phones. And if you are having any problems at school, that would finish once you got home. And it just doesn't now. So I do communicate with him constantly. And he's old enough now to officially have social media, so, we talk a lot and I check his phone.
“It's not that I want to see his messages or his business. But even me just saying ‘Just so you know, I can see everything and I look at it’ is enough to make him think, ‘Oh, I won't say anything mean’.”
One thing Emily is very passionate about is encouraging parents not to shy away from social media and take an active interest in what children are doing on their phones.
“I think we need to make it our business and we need to learn everything. For example, with a game like Roblox, there are so many things you can do on how to make it safer.
“Something that my mum said to me, which I'm so glad that I did when my kids were really little, was when if you say a threat like ‘If you don’t stop doing that we’re leaving’ you need to follow through on that. Because when they're 14 or 15, and you tell them to come in at 10pm, they’ll just think, oh mum never makes us do anything that she says. So, even from a very young age, it's so important to follow through, because now I have a teenager, I think he hopefully will think ‘Mum actually does what she says.’ There has to be boundaries and I think it's so important to put them in place now.”
Emily's book, Things I Wish I’d Known: My hacks for a tidy home, happy kids and a calmer you, is now available to pre-order ahead of its release date, March 7, 2024.
Lorna White is the Senior Digital Writer for Mother&Baby. After running the Yours magazine website, specialising in content about caring for kids and grandchildren, Lorna brought her expertise to Mother&Baby in 2020. She has a keen interest in a range of topics from potty training and nutrition to baby names and early development and has a wide range of experienced medical experts and professionals at her fingertips. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time with her two young sisters, dog walking and enjoying the outdoors with her family.