For single parents, dating can feel like adding another spinning plate to an already complicated circus act. The truth is, dating as a single parent is daunting, but when it works, it can feel like nailing the grand finale under the big top. To help navigate this new balancing act, we spoke to Celebs Go Dating expert Anna Williamson.
The truth is, single motherhood isn't just hard; it can be incredibly lonely. Ironically, you're rarely alone, yet there's no one to pass the baton to when mum rage rears its ugly head, or someone to snuggle with on your child-free weekend. During these moments, you might wonder what dating as a single parent looks like. Spoiler alert: it can be absolutely wonderful.
Are you ready for love?
It's common for friends and family to encourage you to "get back out there" after a breakup, but Anna emphasises the importance of moving at your own pace. She explains that a separation is a form of bereavement, and it's natural to need time to process the loss. "Sometimes we end up doing it because other people are suggesting it might be good for us," she says, highlighting the need for self-reflection.
Take some time to ask yourself: Do I want to date? Why? What am I hoping to achieve? Whether it's companionship, rebuilding confidence, or exploring new relationships, being honest about your intentions can make the journey more fulfilling. Remember, you don't need to have everything figured out or be completely healed to start dating again. Acknowledging ongoing healing while being transparent about your needs can pave the way for authentic connections.
Get rid of mum guilt and get back out there
Let’s be completely honest, mum guilt is real, especially if you have separated from your co-parent. It sneaks in when you’re considering a night out or even just swiping through a dating app, whispering that prioritising yourself is somehow wrong. However, as relationship expert Anna Williamson advises, it's essential to recognise that "mum guilt can be really misplaced and really unhelpful a lot of the time." She emphasises that this guilt often stems from a place of love and care for your child, but warns that it can become a barrier to personal growth and happiness.
Anna encourages single mums to acknowledge their multifaceted identities; She says, "You are a mother, but you're also a human. Your whole identity is not solely wrapped up in you being a mum." By embracing your individuality and allowing yourself the opportunity to seek companionship, you're not only enriching your own life but also setting a positive example for your children about self-worth and the importance of personal fulfilment.
So, give yourself permission to explore new relationships without guilt. Embrace the adventure, knowing that you deserve love and happiness in all its forms.
Swipe right with confidence
Dating apps are often the go-to for single mums re-entering the dating scene, but it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Relationship expert Anna Williamson advises keeping it simple: “Don’t overwhelm yourself with too many dating apps,” she says. “Be really specific about just choosing one, maybe two.” This focused approach helps prevent dating fatigue and keeps the experience enjoyable. There are even dating apps for single parents in the UK.
When creating your profile, clarity is crucial. Anna recommends being upfront about your intentions: “Be really clear. I’m not looking for time wasters. I’m looking for somebody who wants to date and enjoy XYZ.” Enlisting a friend to help write your bio can highlight your best qualities and ensure your profile reflects your true self. Also, don't underestimate the power of your social circle. “Leaning into your friends and your colleagues to help you meet someone,” Anna suggests. It can be a valuable way to meet potential matches, as they might already have insights into someone’s character and have already done some of the vetting for you.
When to bring the kids into the spotlight
Introducing your kids to a new partner is a big step, and timing is crucial. It’s important to wait until the relationship feels stable, ensuring both you and your children are ready for this change.
“Children must always come first and be prioritised when it comes to change, particularly when it comes to one of their parents meeting a new partner. I would typically recommend waiting until that honeymoon phase starts to segue into something of more commitment, and when the relationship starts to feel meaningful, then it’s time to start having that conversation,” says Anna.
Love lessons
Before diving back into the dating pool, it's worth considering a bit of self-reflection, and therapy can be a fantastic tool. Anna Williamson, a seasoned therapist and celebrity dating coach, says, "Therapy used to be a dirty word, but now it's something we can access at any point in our lives." Whether you're navigating the aftermath of a breakup or simply seeking clarity about what you want in a partner in the future, therapy offers a safe space to process emotions and build self-awareness. It's not about being 'broken'; it's about understanding yourself better and setting the stage for healthier relationships.
The Affair podcast
If you're a single mum navigating the aftermath of a breakup, especially one involving infidelity, Anna Williamson's podcast, The Affair, offers a compassionate and insightful space to explore the complexities of such experiences. Anna delves into the multifaceted nature of affairs, presenting stories from all perspectives: the person who had the affair, the one who was betrayed, and the individual involved in the affair.
"I think what's really important is that the podcast is not about us condoning affairs. I have never, I never will, condone an affair. This is purely about being curious and hearing about the reasons. Why, how and what we can learn from that. My goal with it is to empower relationships so that they do not find themselves in a position where an affair takes place."
About the author
Hannah Carroll is our Senior Digital Writer. In her capacity, she curates top-notch listicles, crafts insightful how-to guides, and delivers expert product reviews. As a mother of three, Hannah draws upon her comprehensive understanding of all facets of family life to bring true insight into all the products that make running a home easier.