Can you have sex while pregnant? It may be sex that got you pregnant in the first place, but just because there's a baby on the way doesn't mean you should stop enjoying sex – In fact, many pregnant women actually say having pregnant sex is a much more enjoyable experience! There must a be a reason our sex drive increases during pregnancy? Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy though? The good news is that having sex during pregnancy is perfectly safe, according to the NHS, UNLESS your GP or midwife has advised against it.
Despite this, many women are still nervous about it and have questions. Don't worry, you're not the only one who may feel uncomfortable talking openly about your sex life with your GP or midwife about whether it’s safe to orgasm or masturbate or whether it's okay to still have oral sex – awkward.
So we've helped you out by chatting to Rachel FitzD, a baby and parenting expert and author of Your Baby Skin To Skin, asking for her top tips and advice on all topics to do with sex during pregnancy. We've also asked sex and relationship expert Petra Boynton to answer some of your burning questions, so you can put your worries to, ahem, bed!
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
The most important thing pregnant women want reassurance about is how safe it is to have sex during pregnancy. The NHS says; "Having sex will not hurt your baby. A penis or penetrative sex toy cannot penetrate beyond your vagina, and the baby cannot tell what's going on." We hope that clears up some of your main concerns! Choosing to have sex while pregnant is entirely up to you and how comfortable you are feeling in your body. But rest assured, it IS perfectly safe to have sex during pregnancy.
Expert Rachel FitzD says; "Your GP or midwife will tell you if you should avoid sex at any point in pregnancy and, if you are unsure, ask. The times when you might be advised against sex are if you have had any heavy bleeding, if you have a low-lying placenta (known as placenta praevia), if there are known problems with your cervix which might cause you to go into premature labour or if your waters have broken. Also, if you have a history of premature labour or are carrying twins then you might be advised to avoid sex during the later stages of pregnancy in order to avoid putting you into early labour."
If you do choose to have sex, stay vigilant and aware of your body, and look out for signs. Wondering when to stop sex during pregnancy? Well, if you have sex and experience slight bleeding after sex during pregnancy, then it may be a sign your body wants you to stop. You should consult your doctor before continuing to have sex regularly. But more generally, sexual activity won't affect your baby, and should be enjoyed safely and communicatively!
Does pregnancy sex have any impact on the baby?
Your developing baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in your uterus, as well as by the strong muscles of the uterus itself. This means that sexual activity won't hurt the baby and they won’t be able to feel it, as long as you don't have complications such as preterm labour or placenta problems.
This concern is usually more of an issue when it comes to penetrative sex (vaginal sex and anal sex). But rest assured, penetrative sex will not result in your partner prodding the baby or hurting it with their penis or sex toy. The foetus sits far higher than the end of your vagina and is protected by the amniotic sac.
If your doctor hasn’t warned you against it, you can continue to have sex as normal, but if you’re worried about having safe sex during pregnancy, perhaps try a position that doesn’t enable such deep penetration, such as spooning side by side. We'll share more pregnancy sex positions later on. It goes without saying that painful sex during pregnancy is always a red flag.
The thought of the baby being aware of their parents making love can be a worry for some mums and dads-to-be. Some couples feel guilty for doing it ‘in front of the baby’ but sex during pregnancy is healthy and normal, and your baby will be largely oblivious.
“Both men and women can worry about the baby ‘knowing’ they are having sex,” says expert Petra Boynton. “The baby will feel some movement and hear your voices and other sounds, but won’t have any emotional response to it. Some babies move around while their parents are making love, and others sleep all the way through. Either way, there is nothing to feel guilty about.”
Is it true that orgasms can cause miscarriage?
According to Mayo Clinic, having sex during pregnancy won't provoke a miscarriage. Most miscarriages occur because the foetus isn't developing normally. But as miscarriages are most common in the first trimester, you are advised to speak to your doctor if you experience spotting after an orgasm, have had problem pregnancies before, or are at all worried.
Rachel says that orgasms are totally safe during pregnany, although you may find they feel a little different: "The normal contractions which occur during orgasm can feel stronger during pregnancy, which alarms some women, but these are quite safe. They will not put you into labour and they will not upset the baby at all." Rachel advises that gentle relaxation exercises and breathing can help ease orgasm contractions if they are uncomfortable, and says it is also a good idea to reassure your partner that you and the baby cannot come to any harm through you enjoying your orgasm as much as usual.
One thing to be aware of is that an orgasm during pregnancy can potentially cause cramps, as can your partner's semen inside you. The only time orgasming could be problematic though, is if you have any problems with your placenta, or if you are really far along in your pregnancy.
Be aware if you are further along in your pregnancy, that orgasms cause contractions in the uterus and could bring about an early labour. The same applies if a woman is carrying triplets – there may be a concern about preterm contractions because the uterus might be over-extended.
But otherwise, lie back and enjoy – you’ve definitely earned it.
My boobs leak when I orgasm while pregnant – is this normal?
Pregnancy body changes can come as a shock when you’re not expecting them. “Some women find their boobs leak when they orgasm later in pregnancy,” explains sex and relationship expert Petra Boynton. “It could be just a dribble or a full-on spray. While this is normal, not all women are comfortable with it. If that’s you, keep your bra on and use breast pads (as used by breastfeeding mums) when you make love.”
Is it okay to masturbate when pregnant?
Doctors would actually advise masturbation as the safest form of sex during pregnancy, as there is the least risk of injury. This can be a relief for many pregnant women who find themselves in a constant state of arousal, but with no desire to have penetrative sex.
Rachel says; "If you have been told by your GP or midwife not to have penetrative sex whilst pregnant, then do ask if it is still ok to masturbate. And if it is ok to have penetrative sex then it is absolutely ok to masturbate. Avoid using any perfumed oils or lubricants which might cause irritation or thrush, as the vulval tissues can be more sensitive during pregnancy. And be extra careful to properly clean any sex toys you use to avoid getting a sexually transmitted infection."
As mentioned above, orgasms do cause contractions in the uterus, so follow the expert advice in this article if you are worried. Masturbation during pregnancy is often even advisable in the latest stages of pregnancy, as a labour induction method or if labour is delayed.
Can we still have oral sex during pregnancy?
Yes! Although your partner may find that you taste different. Expert Petra explains; “Most women have a lot more lubrication in pregnancy." She also warns, “The texture changes, it’s thicker and it has a stronger smell. If your partner isn't a fan, they can use a dental dam during oral sex." A dental dam is a thin sheet of latex or polyurethane that acts a barrier between your mouth and your partner’s genitals or anus. It is often used to reduce the risk of spreading sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during oral sex, but could also be used in this scenario.
But try not to feel too self-concious. Petra says; "You’re not weird – these are the physical changes that nobody tells you about.” If, however, there is a bad odour, you see blood, or it feels like you might have thrush, Petra advises for you to see your doctor.
One word of warning, if you're receiving oral sex while pregnant, your partner should be careful not to blow air into your vagina. That may sound a little odd, but according to Healthline, it is possible for an air bubble to block one of your blood vessels, causing an air embolism, which is potentially fatal for you and your baby. They say; "These air bubbles can travel to your brain, heart, or lungs and cause a heart attack, stroke, or respiratory failure."
Try not to worry though, as this is extremely rare, but good to be aware of. If you are concerned, it is probably safer that your partner sticks to stimulating your clitoris and the lips around your vagina (labia), rather than going inside with their tongue. Don't be afraid to discuss the dos and don'ts with your partner beforehand.
Changes to your sex drive during pregnancy
Feeling randier than usual may be the last thing you expected right now, but it’s actually totally normal! “Some women can think: ‘I’m pregnant – is it appropriate to feel this way?’" says sex and relationships expert, Petra. “If you’re self-conscious, you might find it easier to tell your partner how much you want him in a text or email. You could even read a saucy book together in bed or watch a sexy film.” Having sex will depend on how comfortable you are feeling, but by all means indulge if you feel able to!
Sex during pregnancy can be an extraordinary experience, and changes in hormone levels during pregnancy do boost your libido. In fact, many women report experiencing more intense climaxes during the second trimester, than ever before, so it's normal to want to spice things up too.
It’s all about doing what is comfortable and pleasurable for you. “If you’re using sex toys – and it’s fine to do so – you need to be more aware of cleanliness when you are pregnant,” says Petra. “It’s best if you don’t share the same toy. Or put a condom on the toy to avoid the possibility of infection.”
What are the best positions during pregnancy?
If you want to have sex during pregnancy, safe positions can help you to feel more relaxed so that you and your partner can enjoy yourselves. Here are some common sex positions that work well for pregnant couples.
Sex positions during pregnancy
1 of 4Spooning
Spooning is comfortable, no one has to exert themselves too much, and deep penetration is difficult to achieve, which is good for your cervix if it's sensitive.
2 of 4Facing each other
Side by side, facing each other, allows for variation in speed and depth. It also allows for extra intimacy because you and your partner can look into each other’s eyes.
3 of 4You on top
Straddling him from above lets you set the pace and keeps pressure off your bump, allowing you to be in control. It helps to put your hands on the top of the headboard at the same time to help you stabilise yourself, as well as save your energy.
4 of 4Rear entry
Prop yourself up on all fours so he can enter you from behind. Make sure you encourage him to take it slow and communicate what does and doesn’t feel good. This position does open you up for deeper penetration, so be careful if your cervix is feeling sensitive. Rear-entry is a good option in your third trimester as it puts no pressure on your bladder or uterus.
FAQ: Sex during pregnancy
Why can’t he get an erection when we have sex during pregnancy?
Try not to overthink it – it doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. Dads get stressed about parenthood too, and many dads are just worried they will harm the baby. This can make it difficult for them to feel relaxed when having sex. You may be able to help by doing your best to reassure him that you love him, and that he’ll be an amazing Dad. If it’s just not happening, explore other non-penetrative ways of giving each other pleasure.
Why does sex make me so emotional now?
Pregnancy hormones can make your emotions volatile even during the most mundane of tasks. So in the throes of making love, you could lurch from dramatic highs to crashing lows. Your orgasms might feel different too, as could your whole attitude towards sex, both during and afterwards. Orgasms may leave you feeling weepy and emotional! Pregnancy hormones and body changes are the cause of this, and it’s completely normal. Those same hormones may also make you very demanding for sex or put you off it altogether.
What if I don’t feel like I look sexy anymore?
Struggling with morning sickness, rarely in the mood for penetrative sex and worried they’ll go elsewhere? Don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking, and most importantly, communicate! “A lot of pregnancy sex advice taps into this idea that men are sex-crazed beasts and you must soldier on, but that’s just not the case,” says Petra. “If you’re feeling too ill, tired or uncomfortable to have sex, then don’t.” Remember, it’s your body, and your choice. But if your partner is struggling, perhaps think about other ways you can be intimate and spend time together, whether that’s nights in cuddled on the sofa or falling asleep together.
Despite what you may think, your changing body shape may well be a turn on for your partner. But while you might worry about your new crop of stretch marks, they’re most definitely the last thing on their mind when you are making love. “Think about it from their point of view,” says Petra. “Your growing baby bump means you will have to experiment with different positions. It’s highly unlikely they’ll mind that your growing bump rules out the missionary position.”
What if sex during pregnancy hurts?
If sex during pregnancy is painful, it could just be down to vaginal dryness, or changes in the shape of your body. However, there could be underlying medical issues. So, while it is generally safe, painful sex should be discussed with a healthcare provider, especially if you experience any bleeding or persistent pain.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy third trimester?
Having sex during the second or third trimester and experiencing orgasms can cause Braxton Hicks contractions. These are irregular, often painless (but they can be uncomfortable) uterine contractions that occur during pregnancy. They prepare the body for labour but they don't necessarily indicate that labour has begun. They won't harm your baby though. Generally it is considered safe in low-risk healthy pregnancies for couples to continue having sex in the third trimester, but if you are worried you should always seek advise from a health professional.
What are the disadvantages of sex during pregnancy?
Aside from potentially not being able to enjoy your favourite sex position when your bump starts to get really big and get in the way, there can also be other disadvantages of having sex during pregnancy. For example, there can be an increased risk of contractions and preterm labour, the potential for bleeding and infection, complications if you have placenta previa where the placenta is covering the cervix – but these are all exceptional cases. Sex may also be restricted due to increased pressure on the uterus if you are expecting multiples.
What are the benefits of sex during pregnancy?
Having sex while pregnant can help to bring you and your partner closer together to improve your bond – increasing happiness and reducing stress and anxiety for both of you, as well as boosting your immune system, and improving your sleep. It can even help with labour and postpartum recovery.
Meet the Experts
Rachel Fitz-Desorgher, mother to four sons, is a baby and parenting expert – an active birth teacher, and author of Your Baby Skin To Skin. She has over 30 years working as a midwife and as a parenting consultant. Rachel has appeared on numerous radio programmes, teaches other midwives and peer supporters, and lectures at hospitals and conferences.
Proud aunt to her teen niece, Zara Mohammed is a Digital Writer for Mother&Baby. She has 10 years freelance writing experience creating lifestyle content for various platforms, including pregnancy, women’s health, parenting, child development and child mental health, plus lots of fun seasonal family articles and celebrity news.