How much sex should you *really* have if you’re trying for a baby?

by motherandbaby |
Published on

So you’ve ditched the contraception, you’ve stocked up on folic acid in preparation, bookmarked our ovulation calculator and you’re ready to get pregnant. Surely just a couple of passionate baby-making nights with your partner and you’ll strike baby gold?

Sadly, it’s often not that simple, and for many couples, it can take up to 12 months to conceive, so try not to worry if you’re three months in with no baby bump yet.

With a little luck, a little timing, and a whole lot of fun - you’ll soon be seeing a positive on that pregnancy test.

How much sex should I have to get pregnant?

Honestly? As much as possible! I know, I know, it’s often the last thing on your mind at the end of a long day, but when it comes to trying for a baby, more fun time = more chances of a double line.

We all know those early relationship days, you know when sex is top of the agenda and you can’t keep your hands off each other? Then the months go by, daily life kicks in, you move in together and things slow down a little.

When it comes to sex, every couple is different; some have sex once or twice a week, others once or twice a month. There’s no such thing as ‘normal’ in a relationship, but when it comes to trying for a baby - you have to seriously up your game.

On average, it takes most couples (about 84 out of every 100) up to 12 months to get pregnant if they have regular sex, don’t use contraception and don’t have any underlying fertility issues so don’t worry if your cheeky baby-making weekend away didn’t result in a baby the first time.

When should I have sex?

While you’re most likely to get pregnant if you have sex within a day or so of ovulation (around 14 days after the first day of your last period), it’s important to have sex as often as possible as this boosts your chances of becoming pregnant.

Sometimes, just focusing on ovulation days can make it all much more stressful and put you both under enormous pressure. Instead, it’s more much more effective (and fun) to have it wherever and whenever, so ditch the charts, and reconnect.

Stop focusing on making a baby and instead, get back to the fun part of sex.

I’m having loads of sex on my ovulation days, but I’m still not pregnant

So you’ve been at it like rabbits around ovulation day and you still have no positives on the pregnancy test? Don’t stress!

Making a baby is not as simple as it seems. Sure, we all know about the birds and bees, but mama nature sometimes needs a little help. Your body is complex and incredibly clever, but there’s lots of luck and timing involved, which is why having sex more frequently, rather than just around ovulation, increases your chances of becoming pregnant.

After ovulation, the egg only lives for 24 hours and a sperm must meet the egg within that period for pregnancy to happen.

But having sex just on those days, won’t necessarily guarantee a baby. It’s much better to have regular sex in the run-up to ovulationbecause sperm can survive in the fallopian tubes for several days afterwards and still fertilise the egg when it's released from the ovary.

So get planning a sperm greeting party for your egg when it’s about to be released in the fallopian tubes, and you’ll up your chances of a positive on that pregnancy test.

I’ve been trying for a baby for over 12 months - should I worry?

Many couples can take up to and over 12 months trying to conceive, so try not to worry.

It’s always worth going to your GP if, after 12 months of actively trying for a baby, nothing has happened. Your GP will be able to give you advice and run some simple tests.

Read next: The best sex positions to get pregnant:


Sex positions to get pregnant

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1. Your legs on his shoulders

This sex position means your pelvis is tipped back, which gives his sperm a helping hand from gravity in trying to reach your egg.

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2. Missionary

Although it might not be the most exciting position to get intimate with your partner, it gives deep penetration close to the cervix, so your partner's swimmers have a little extra help in their swim for an egg.

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3. You on top

This is great when you want to feel in control, but think about switching before he ejaculates. Theory goes that being on top stops gravity doing its best to help his sperm along its way.

Best sex positions to get pregnant4 of 5

4. From behind

Again, this position allows for deep penetration. As an added benefit, some theories say this is the best sex position to use when trying to conceive if you have a tipped uterus. Once you’re finished, roll over and lie on your back with your hips elevated to give his sperm time to travel.

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5. Side by side

ying side-by-side can be a relaxing position for couples, making it the perfect position if you’re feeling stressed out. Lie face-to-face or opt for some spooning. This ensures maximum comfort and is great for anyone suffering with a back problem – or morning breath.

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