Three’s A Crowd: What If One Of You Feels Left Out When Your Baby Comes Along?

by Alex Davies |
Published on

Ever heard the saying “two’s company…”? You may not anticipate one of you feeling left out when your baby arrives, but it can happen. Solve it by talking, planning and changing your perspective at least a little

It may be the last thing you expect. But, when your baby arrives and you go from a couple to a trio, there can sometimes be situations where your partner – or you (yes, it can happen, especially if he gets all the cuddles and fun stuff after work) – feels a bit out of it.

And it’s understandable. The focus of your relationship and your attention is on someone else right now – and he’s much cuter than either of you.

So, if one of you is feeling a bit left out, what can you do?

Take responsibility for each other

Your focus will obviously change with your baby here, but it’s still important to acknowledge that you’re in a relationship with each other and put the time in, even if it’s just to say “I love you” or ask how each other’s day was.

‘The desire to feel, sexy, loved and needed doesn’t end when you have a baby,’ says bestselling author and relationship expert Matthew Hussey.

Talk about it

Feeling pushed out? As easy as it might be to stay quiet and let resentment bubble away beneath the surface, communication really is key.

‘It’s much more productive to let your partner know the things that make you feel needed,’ says Matthew. ‘Instead of nagging or making it something negative, tell him how much it means to you to join in that game he plays with your baby.’

And talking works both ways – it’s the only way you’ll understand just how the other is feeling.

Plan things you can all do together

As well as enjoying one-on-one time with your baby, make a conscious effort to do things as family. That way, you’ll have a laugh that’ll boost your couple bond and also create new memories.

Whether it’s a picnic in the park or bathing your baby together, make it about quality time for you all.

Give yourself a reality check

Your child may be super excited when daddy gets home from work, but you may be more up to speed with what makes bath time run smoothly.

You’re all a little unit now so it’s not a case of anyone being out of it – you both love your baby and each other, so keep that in mind.

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