Caught In The Act: How To Cope If Your Toddler Sees You Having Sex

by Alex Davies |
Published on

That moment has arrived which you thought only happened to other people – but how do you handle the situation when your toddler wanders in while you’re in the middle of sex?

You and your partner have finally found the time – and energy – to hop in the sack. A little bit of good old-fashioned ooh, ahh… then ARGH!

Your toddler’s snuck her way into the bedroom and caught you having sex.

So, what do you do next?

Think ahead

To steer clear of this situation in future, pre-empt it. ‘Prepare if you can, obviously without taking the fun out of things,’ says parenting coach Sue Atkins, creator of the Positive Toddler Taming MP3 download.

‘If your toddler does tend to wander if she wakes, shut the door and put a chair against it so you’ll hear her trying to come in and can stop what you’re doing.’

Put it in perspective

That said, if she has caught you, understand that she takes her emotional lead from you.

‘Toddlers are too young to understand what they’re seeing, so simply get up, stay calm and take her back to her room,’ says Sue. ‘Act like it’s not a big deal – screaming, shouting or panicking will just scare or confuse her.’

Trust us, if she sees you and your partner are calm, she’ll stay calm too.

Don’t over-explain

Now’s not the time for her first sex ed lesson, so don’t panic about explaining what she’s seen – unless you feel it’s warranted.

Now’s not the time for her first sex ed lesson

‘If she seems upset, scared or is asking questions, tell her you and daddy were just cuddling and that’s what grown-ups in love do,’ says Sue.

‘Your instinct will tell you how much you need to say – you know her maturity level best, after all – but she’s so young that I wouldn’t over-analyse or go into detail.’

Consider your sex schedule

If you’re worried about your child catching you at it, think about other ways you can make time for sex together.

This could mean booking a babysitter for the evening or having a quickie during naptime.

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