If you’re a fan of Strictly Come Dancing or Dancing on Ice, you’ll already be familiar with dancing sensation Oti Mabuse. Now a new mum of one to her little girl, we caught up with Oti to discuss everything from balancing work and motherhood, her breastfeeding journey and how her relationship with her body has changed.
“I've never been so tired and so happy at the same time”
Between the sleep regression, the constant feeding and her career, Oti admits she’s never felt so tired but she’s taking these precious early months in her stride, all while her career is flourishing. “For some reason, my career is growing at the same time. I'm so grateful because people used to tell me that when you have a baby, people won’t work with you and that's not been true. It’s been the opposite.”
“I felt so sexy during pregnancy”
As a very private person, Oti and her family were keen to keep her pregnancy under wraps during those early months of pregnancy until they were ready to announce it. Moving into her second trimester, Oti reveals she felt amazing.
“I hit the second trimester and felt like a gladiator, I felt so strong, so rejuvenated, you feel like you can do anything that you set your mind to. And I felt sexy. So many times people told me I was gonna swell up or gonna get pigmentation or feel really irritated. And I didn't. As a woman, I felt incredible and so empowered. I felt very feminine within my body and I looked great. My legs were juicy, my boobs are big, but they got bigger and my bum! I felt very confident in my body.”
Oti’s birth experience sounded like a dream. Surrounded by a team of brilliant midwives along with her husband, she admits there was singing through the contractions and dancing to her favourite musical songs. However, shortly after giving birth, things quickly changed as Oti’s daughter became very poorly.
“It wasn’t fun to see her in an incubator with all the noisy machines around her and the wires, the injections and the blood tests. But the neonatal team at UCLH were so incredible. They were checking on her all the time, as well as all the other babies in there. How they take care of all the children in that unit was so amazing and it allowed me to have time to focus on myself and recovery.”
“When my milk came in, it came in!”
Because Oti’s baby was born prematurely, it took some time for her breast milk to come in, which meant a lot of pumping over the course of the six weeks she was in hospital with her newborn.
“The process of actually breastfeeding is so so so stressful and you don't think of it because you think the hardest thing is going to be labour.”
Although she suffered from supply issues in those early weeks, Oti’s milk eventually came in and was not in short supply. As she was pumping every two hours, it was important for Oti to find a breast pump to suit her active lifestyle.
That was when she was introduced to the MAM Move Wearable Single Breast Pump which, for Oti, was a total game changer. “I was still able to cuddle my baby and move around because I wasn’t tied to one spot. I can go to the toilet and make dinner and still be producing milk.”
Oti loved the fact that the pump has different settings depending on how sensitive her boobs were feeling or how much milk she needed to pump for that day. “I think also for my husband, the fact that I can pump and then put my milk in a MAM bottle, which we also use, so that he can he can feed her which also creates a bond for my husband as well.”
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Oti wants new mums to know, that breastfeeding isn’t an easy ride, especially at the start, but the more stressed you feel and the more pressure you put yourself under, the harder it is to create milk for your baby.
“Breastfeeding takes time and patience. It is a lot of work to constantly be eating the things that you need to eat in order to create milk which puts a lot of pressure on you and you feel stressed. Then knowing that when you're stressed you're not going to produce a lot of milk causes this vicious cycle."
"When you are happy, baby will be happy"
Since having a baby, Oti has noticed a significant shift in her own self awareness and personal strength. And after her midwives told her that when she’s happy and relaxed, baby will be happy and relaxed, she’s realised how important self-care really is when you're a mum.
“I need to be able to take care of my mental health to be able to take care of myself physically, spiritually and emotionally so that I can produce food for my baby. If I’m not okay physically or mentally, whether that’s because I’m not eating correctly, I’m feeling tired, not focused, not stimulating myself in the right way, then I can see that I can’t produce the right amount for my child.”
"Dealing with online trolls is just a part of my job now"
Another thing Oti has realised she now has to deal with as a mum in the public eye is online hate and unsolicited opinions from others online. We all know how mums, particularly those in the public eye can come under some nasty scrutiny on social media from the mum police, but Oti is treating these comments as just another part of her job.
“It won't affect me because everybody's entitled to their opinion. But it doesn't mean that it's a true reflection of who I am because now I know who I am, and who I am is very important to my child, and my husband and my family."
"We don’t understand how amazing the body is"
Recalling a time she recently caught herself looking at old photographs of herself from years ago, Oti remembers how obsessed she used to be with being slim, and admits that now, she knows she’ll never put that kind of pressure on herself again.
“The fact that women can sit and create food and create humans who we deliver, and then we continue to work as mothers while holding up communities and businesses – all these amazing things we do with our bodies. You only get one body and you only get one chance at it.”
“I think the worst thing to do is to be in this position and not appreciate what the body can do. And I really hope that women can get to that point. It might not look amazing, we might not all look like supermodels, but what a body is doing is irrelevant of what it looks like, and I think we should take time and appreciate that.”
"The level of communication in my marriage is incredible now we’re parents"
Any new parents will know that welcoming a child can either make or break you as a couple, and it’s a time when support and communication is vital. That’s why we were so pleased to hear Oti and her husband, Marius, are quickly finding their flow as parents and still finding the time for those special family moments.
“I think our focus now is to have this human being in our lives and raise her as best as possible and I think it's made us a lot more open with each other about how we feel about certain situations. We are much more vulnerable in terms of ‘this is how I'm feeling’ or ‘I'm not feeling great today’. Also, it does not matter how exhausted we are because when she smiles, it is the most amazing feeling.”
"Motsi is the most amazing auntie"
Oti isn’t the only famous Mabuse family member, as her older sister, Motsi, is a regular on our screens too as a judge on Strictly Come Dancing. And by the sounds of it, Motsi has taken auntie duties in her stride, spoiling her niece as well as her little sister at every opportunity.
"She’ll call me and say ‘hi, no, I'm not calling for you. I'm calling for the baby.’ Oti laughs.
Motsi has also been making sure Oti is taking good care of herself with plenty of rest and recuperation, sending her off for a relaxing spa day while she babysat.
“She was like you go, relax, enjoy the spa and sauna, have a massage.”
"Fitness can save your life"
We all know how talented Oti is when it comes to dancing, but we were surprised to hear she continued dancing and teaching dance at her dance studio throughout her pregnancy, crediting her new found stamina to regular dance and teaching sessions. Even postpartum, she found herself dancing around the house in the early days.
“My husband was like, ‘this is not normal, you're supposed to be tired’ and I was like, oh, no” she jokes.
It wasn’t long until Oti was back in the dance studio teaching her classes which she found was vital to both her physical and mental wellbeing as a new mum.
“Fitness comes in many forms and for me it’s dancing. It makes me express myself and I feel so fulfilled when I'm teaching in my dance studio. I found I was so happy when I went back. I was happy that my body was moving again, that I was feeling healthy and that I was feeling strong.
Oti’s dance studio is located in Northwest London and you can find out more about the classes and booking one to attend at otimabusedancestudio.com.
Lorna White is the Senior Digital Writer for Mother&Baby. After running the Yours magazine website, specialising in content about caring for kids and grandchildren, Lorna brought her expertise to Mother&Baby in 2020. She has a keen interest in a range of topics from potty training and nutrition to baby names and early development and has a wide range of experienced medical experts and professionals at her fingertips. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time with her two young sisters, dog walking and enjoying the outdoors with her family.