How to make a will when you have children and why it’s important

Babies come with a lot of paperwork - there's birth certificates, GP applications, little red books, and that's before you start applying for nurseries and school. But arguably one of the most important pieces of paperwork you'll ever create when you have children, is a will.

If you're like me, it's probably a job you've been putting off. No one likes to think about death but writing a will when you have a child can save everyone a lot of time and money later down the line. It can also give you peace of mind knowing that they'll be looked after in the way you want, if the worst happens.

But if you haven't made a will yet, you're certainly not alone. Research from Austin Lafferty Solicitors found that 62% of parents of under 18s in Britain don't have one. To help you find out all you need to know about making a will and why it's so important when you have children, we've spoken to Solicitors, Anne Stockley from SA Law, and John Roberts, Partner and Director of Austin Lafferty Solicitors.

What is a will?

A will is a legal document that specifies how you want your assets and possessions to be distributed after your death. It means you get to decide who inherits your property, money and belongings, and it also allows you to name a guardian to care for your children.

"Without a will, no charity can benefit, nor can any friend. You cannot leave a memento or keepsake to a specific family member. Also, without a will, your family will have a bigger and more expensive job to wind up your estate after your death," says John Roberts.

If you die without a will, there are certain rules that dictate how your possessions and assets will be divided and this may not be how you would have wanted. Citizens Advice also points out that unmarried partners and partners who have not registered a civil partnership cannot inherit from each other unless there is a will.

While none of us want to think about the worst case scenarios, I know from experience that when I did finally get round to making a will, it was a huge weight off my mind.

Reasons to have a will as a parent

1. Decide who will look after your children

Appointing a guardian for your children is probably one of the main reasons you should have a will as a parent. If you don't choose a guardian, this decision will fall to the local authorities and while they will prefer to place children with immediate family, this isn't always automatic.

2. Make a plan for their future

Research from The Child Poverty Action Group found the basic cost of raising a child in 2024 was £165,872 for a couple, rising to £290,807 when you consider birthdays, hobbies and holidays. Writing a will helps you map out how your estate can provide for your children if needed.

3. Think about all your assets

While you might automatically think about assets like a house or savings, you can also make arrangements for other assets and possessions, including pensions, life insurance policies and even family heirlooms such as jewellery that you want to pass on to your children.

4. Decide on Trustees

Trustees are the people who will take responsibility for managing your assets until your children reach 18 (or the age you set in the will). It may be your partner and another person, but you should have two people who are happy to take on the role, and who you trust.

Anne tells us that this is one of the most important aspects to consider. "Appointing guardians for children under 18 is obviously important for parents, but they should also think about who to appoint as executors and trustees. Those people are responsible for administering your estate and looking after the assets until children are old enough to inherit. The executors and trustees need to work well with your guardians, who will need to access funds for your children’s upbringing."

5. When will your children inherit?

In your will, you can also decide when you want your children to have full control of any assets you leave. Without a will this will be when they're 18 (or 17 in Scotland). You can decide to make this older if you want. Until they turn this age, the money and assets will be managed by whoever you appoint as your trustees.

How to write a will

So if you are planning to make a will, where do you start? Government advice is that you can write your own will but you should get legal help if it's not straightforward. Solicitors will charge for their services but you may find that you can get Legal Aid to help with the costs.

Anne Stockley notes that the first step would be finding a local solicitor to assist you. "You will need to give the solicitor full names and addresses of beneficiaries, executors (who will administer the estate) and the people you wish to appoint as guardians of any children under 18. It is useful to have an idea of the value of your assets so that the solicitor can give you the correct inheritance tax advice."

She also notes that "to limit the risk of your will containing errors or gaps, or the risk of your estate being distributed incorrectly, it is always best to instruct a solicitor to help with drafting your will, particularly as the errors only come to light after death. Solicitors will give you expert advice and they are regulated and insured."

John Roberts notes it's important to think and talk about your plans before talking to a solicitor. He suggests the following:

• Work out what you want to happen when you die. If you are a couple planning wills together, decide not just what is to happen on the first death, but what is to be the division and distribution of the estate if you both die together, or on the second death if you are leaving everything initially to each other. Ideally, make a note of this and talk it through with the lawyer.

• Be sure to tot up what you actually have by way of assets, property, and debts. We do not know what we will have by way of wealth at the moment of passing, but it helps in constructing a will to tell the lawyer what you own at the moment. A will can later be changed or tweaked from time to time to reflect changes in fortune or circumstances, but we do need to know where the starting point is.

Updating a will

Writing a will isn't a one-off job. Your life and circumstances are constantly changing and you'll need to reflect this in your will. As Anne suggests, "it is recommended that you review your will on the following events or every five years to check the details are still relevant." Reasons you may need to update your will include:

· Marriage or divorce

· Having another child

· Changes in financial circumstances

· Significant changes in health

· The loss of a beneficiary or executor

As John Roberts explains, “Your will should reflect your most recent wishes. By regularly updating it, you can have peace of mind knowing that your estate is in good hands, no matter what changes life brings. After all, the last thing you want to do as a parent is leave your grieving children with complications around your estate. Getting your ducks in a row means they won’t suffer any unnecessary stress at what will undoubtedly be a difficult time."

About the experts

John Roberts is a Partner and Director of Austin Lafferty Solicitors and has been with the Firm for over 20 years. He has experience in all areas of family law, including divorce and separation, adoption and child contact. John believes in amicable negotiation in all his cases. This would apply both in assisting clients in finding suitable arrangements for any children and also in cases where financial settlement is the main issue of concern. He also provides advice on all aspects of residential and commercial conveyancing and acts for many local businesses. In addition, John has a range of high profile clients in both the sports and film industries.

Anne Stockley​​​​ is an Associate Solicitor in the Wills & Probate Team at SA Law where she prepares wills, advises on inheritance tax planning and administers estates including those with complex elements such as overseas assets. She also advises on Powers of Attorney and issues arising from lack of capacity including applications to the Court of Protection for deputyship, gifts and statutory wills. Anne also acts as a professional deputy.

About the author

Rebecca Lancaster is a Digital Writer for Mother&Baby, drawing on ten years of parenting her two children to help others navigating their own parenting journey. As a freelance writer, she spent ten years working with leading lifestyle brands, from travel companies to food and drink start-ups, and writing everything from hotel reviews to guides to the best British cheeses. She’s particularly interested in travel and introducing her children to the excitement of visiting new places, trying different foods (less successfully) and experiencing different cultures.