Rosie Ramsey on mum-guilt, C-sections and keeping things real

Rosie Ramsey

by Emily Gilbert |
Updated on

If you don't know presenter, actor and mum-of-two Rosie Ramsey, you're going to want to follow her ASAP. Not only does she regularly have us in stitches on her Instagram stories but she's one half of the chart-topping podcast Sh**ged. Married. Annoyed. with her husband, stand-up comedian Chris. The duo recently released both a podcast tour and book of the same name where they write hilariously and with honesty about the ups and downs and ins and outs of love, sex and relationships.

Rosie's C-section births

Rosie had C-sections with both her children but gave birth to her second son Rafe in a different hospital to her first son Robin. "I had to tell them everything about my first child, Robin. I was telling the midwife all about the labour and she was like 'So would you like a natural birth...?' And I was like, 'Hell no!'

"I was desperate for a natural birth with Robin. But I was in labour for 18 hours, and I really tried but unfortunately, nature took over and it turns out, he wouldn't fit. He just wouldn't fit! That's why I had an emergency section and the midwife advised that because of his size (he weighed 10lbs 11ozs!) and because of how long it took and it just not really going the right way, that it would be better to have a planned section."

"I actually found labour really empowering and I did kind of enjoy it. Isn't that weird? Because it was so painful. And it was a bit scary, but I just found it really like "Come on!" I just thought It was quite good."

The joy of the newborn stage

"I remember when Robin was a baby, I would just kind of sit on the sofa and he'd just be like, be asleep on my chest. And I remember just looking at him and then you wouldn't realise for hours would kind of go past and you're just looking at your little baby. That stage is always really lovely. I didn't enjoy the one-two stage so much, not gonna lie! I found that a bit stressful."

On being more relaxed with baby number two

"I think with your first one, you don't really know what you're doing. I used to Google everything all the time. And you're just kind of muddling your way through. Whereas I'm really looking forward to the second baby and kind of knowing what to do and knowing not to worry about certain things. Even just little things like I bottle-fed Robin and, you know, sterilized bottles. It's obviously really important, I'm not trying to say that but I was really anal about sterilizing bottles like: 'This needs to be done!' and 'You can't do that!'"

The struggle with mum-guilt

"I think like any mother, I find the guilt really hard. Just constantly feeling guilty about something - whether you've spent enough time with them, whether you don't give them enough of something. The constant battle of wanting to give them everything in the world but knowing that if you give them everything in the world, they could end up awful. And then you then on top of that, you have the tantrums, you have when they hurt themselves, and the constant worry about your kids and so many things. But it's crazy how it's all outweighed by just loving them."

Talking to The Hundamental Guide To Life, Rosie admitted social media can be a difficult place. "I personally struggle when I see people online who are Mums and they have a perfect life. I get why they do it and I can see the space for it. But I just think if you can't see past the fact that it's filtered then it's really damaging.

"I can see past it now but there were times when I was like 'why does my kid always choose to just sh*t up his back as soon as I'm just going to leave out the door?' But they don't show that, you just see matching clothes!”

Sh**ged. Married. Annoyed the podcast

"The concept of our podcast Sh**ged. Married. Annoyed is basically me and my husband Chris, a married couple (who I'd like to think are down to earth) and we just chat about our lives and the ups and downs of marriage and we're able to laugh at ourselves and have a joke. And I hope that we make people feel a little bit more normal in their own relationship and that it happens to everybody. My husband Chris is on the TV a lot and is a stand-up comedian and when you see people who are on the TV in their real life, you can relate to it. I think it always makes it a bit more. 'Oh! wow, they're the same as us!' love that when my friends tell me they've been arguing with their husbands or the partners or whatever, I'm like 'Get in! Yes!' And you just feel better about your own situation. That was the intention with the podcast and we've now branched out into a book."

Sh**ged. Married. Annoyed the book

It's not easy writing with your other half

"I never in a million years thought that I would be writing a book. It's going to sound really naff but you know what? It's with Penguin! I've been reading penguin books since I was a kid! And I've never ever dreamt of doing a book so it was a really big challenge and I'm really proud that we've done it."

"At first it wasn't great writing with Chris. During the podcast, it's obviously very performative in that we're just kind of having a chat and we can talk or whatever. I was a little bit uncertain about the book and I wasn't very confident in writing. Whereas Chris has written for years, he's written all of these shows. So I was a little bit insecure. And sometimes if Chris was like, 'I don't think that's very good' And I'd get the hump! I know it's silly but that's the thing about working with somebody you're married with, there's no sort of professionalism. And I'm the same with him! You don't word things a certain way like you might with a colleague, so that was hard with the book. But we managed to get through it. And we worked out a little system where we weren't actually writing together. So we kind of did it separately and then we would go over each other's bits. I remember we were in two different rooms at one point just shouting through going: 'Yeah, that's good!' It worked in the end."

The book has something for everyone

"I really hate the last chapter in our book: 'Let's talk about Sh*t.' I still don't want it in and we actually had a row about that as I said I didn't think it should be in the book. I just thought we're writing a book and I got my kind of like, posh academic head-on (not that I've got one!) and I was like, 'We can't do a section about sh*t!' And Chris pointed out: 'Well we do in the in the podcast, and this is an extension of the podcast!' And if people are enjoying it, I don't mind! Though there is the option to not read it and you actually cut it out in the book!"

"I love the section 'Are we Vanilla?' where we're talking about our bland sex life. We get some horrible emails from people. You think the podcast is filthy? You want to go through them emails. They're disgusting!"

Sh**ged. Married. Annoyed.
Price: £10.19

Will there be any more children?

"Absolutely not," she told podcast The Hundamental Guide To Life. "I'm not a good pregnant person. Love them to bits, they're absolutely brilliant but I am done. The oven is closed, locked shut!”

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